How a Massage Revealed the Power of Our Inner Voice

Most of us pay attention to the words we speak to others. We think about tone, kindness, and how our words may affect someone else. But rarely do we stop to consider the most influential voice in our lives — the one inside our own head. The truth is, our internal dialogue is incredibly powerful. What we say to ourselves can either create resistance… or allow something to release.

I had a fascinating experience recently that reminded me just how powerful this inner conversation can be. I went in for a fascia release massage – a bodywork technique that focuses on releasing tension in the connective tissue that surrounds our muscles. At one point, the therapist pressed into a spot that was extremely painful. She held the pressure steady and calmly said to me:

“Tell yourself you are ready to release this pain. It is safe to let it go.”

I remember thinking, How is that going to help?

But I tried it. I quietly repeated to myself:

“I’m ready to release this. It’s safe to let it go.”

Within a minute or two, something remarkable happened. The pain simply melted away. The therapist’s pressure had not changed at all — but my experience of it had completely shifted. Later in the session we found the opposite situation. She pressed into a spot that felt extremely tight to her hands, but I felt nothing.

I was numb.

She explained that sometimes when the body experiences intense or prolonged tension, it will actually shut down sensation to protect itself.  Then she said something interesting:

“Tell yourself it’s okay to feel the pain here.”

So I did.

Within moments, the numbness disappeared — and the pain surfaced. Only then could we begin to release it. That experience was a powerful reminder that the body and mind are in constant communication.  Our nervous system is always asking one fundamental question:

Am I safe?

When the brain senses danger, it can create tension, numbness, or resistance as a form of protection. But when the brain receives signals of safety, it allows the body to soften, release, and heal. Sometimes those signals come from our environment. But often they come from our own internal language. The words we say to ourselves send messages to our nervous system about what is safe, what is possible, and what we are ready to let go of. This doesn’t only apply to physical tension in the body. It shows up everywhere in our lives.

Think about how often we say things like:

• “I can’t handle this.”
• “This is too much.”
• “I’ll never get past this.”
• “I’m stuck.”
• “I’m overwhelmed.”

When we repeat those messages, our brain hears them as instructions. It reinforces resistance and keeps us braced against the experience. But when we shift the internal conversation, something different happens. Instead of resistance, we create permission.

Permission to release.
Permission to feel.
Permission to move forward.

Simple phrases like:

• “It’s safe to let this go.”
• “I’m ready to release what no longer serves me.”
• “I can handle this moment.”
• “I’m open to a new way.”
• “I have all the time I need” (one of my personal favorites!)

These small shifts in language can create surprisingly powerful shifts in how we experience our lives. The next time you feel tension — whether it’s physical, emotional, or mental — pause for a moment and check in with your internal dialogue.

Ask yourself:

What am I telling myself about this situation?  Then gently offer your nervous system a different message.

Try saying:

“It’s safe to soften here.”
“I’m ready to release what I’ve been holding.”

“It’s safe to feel all the emotions.”

You might be surprised at what begins to change. You’ve heard the saying, “what we resist persists.”  Sometimes the thing we are holding onto the most… is simply waiting for our permission to let it go.

in love and gratitude,

Jenni